Log:Last Laugh Isn't So Funny
From C2Wiki
PLEASE allow me to preface this log with a brief foreword. This was my first 2nd Edition scene and my first fast-paced roleplay scene on the computer in about two years. As a result, this is very sloppy and didn't last very long. I apologize, but hey, I can only get better at it, right? Right?
| Last Laugh Isn't So Funny | |
|---|---|
| Emitter | Matricks/Omatu |
| Players | Botilda, Piro, Zack |
| NPCs | Billie Wildyr, Vaudeville Sam (doesn't make appearance, but he was there) |
| Place | The Last Laugh Comedy Club |
| Time (IC) | 9PM EST Tuesday 1/29/2008 |
| Time (OOC) | 9PM-11PM EST Tues 1/29/2008 |
Some clubs have seen great comedians, some clubs have seen a few to-be-stars, but The Last Laugh has seen none of them. The cover charge is so low that homeless people make up most of the audience - it's so cheap to get in and warm as all hell, and since the crowd is so thin otherwise, the owner welcomes the business. The dingy, poorly lit club is really just a converted warehouse with wooden planks making up the floor, dirtier than the ground beneath them. The smell isn't too pleasant - everyone who can afford them is smoking them, and those who can't afford them don't smell even worse. The stage is about thirty feet from the double door entrance, elevated about four feet off of the ground in a proscenium style, 10 feet deep and 20 across. A bar sits along the left side of the club and the bathrooms along the right. There are maybe two dozen patrons, filling about a third of the seating area. Most of the affluent folk sit at the bar while the rest are scattered among the tables in front of the stage.
The club is starting to fill in now, the cold truly setting in. A few college kids take up one end of the bar, since they've found out how cheap the liquor is (if only they were smart enough to realize how watered down), causing a bit of a ruckus in the otherwise quiet club until a paunchy man in a flannel suit coat rambles on to the stage and grabs the mic, "HEYA folks this is Don Carlito owner of this fine establishment that you are sitting in right now. We got a great line up tonight, we truly do, the best we've ever had. To warm you up I give you, the crowd, the masses, Laughin Larry the Lunatic!" A man with frankenstein patch suit comes on and begins his act, riffing on local politics. It isn't funny, and he is mostly ignored.
Why the hell is Piro here? Oh wait, that's right. She let herself get roped into a date with a woman with no taste. She's sitting at a table, trying to tolerate the act on stage without losing her mind while the girl next to her laughs and laughs and laughs. Sometimes you just pick a real winner.
Botilda had hard of this place and, apparently, has decided to come check it out. She stands out from the moment she enters -- she was told it was s club, so she dressed in a shiny silver top, not realizing how 'gritty and dirty' the place was. Deciding to 'give it a go', apparently, she's pulled her coat close around herself and has started heading for the bar...
Zack may well be the only one here who's here because he actually appreciates the comedians. Not only that, but he appreciates the value that a film of the show might have on e-bay. Unfortunately, that appreciation is not particularly well-founded, but he chuckles as he watches through the lens of his camera over at one corner of the stage. In his free hand he has what vaguely resembles a non-alcoholic Shirley Temple, although it's more likely just water with red food coloring.
Lunatic Larry shakes and jitters, and then speaks into the microphone meekly, "Well, uh, so, I got a joke for you. Lots of heroes around, right? Yeah? Okay, so, how many super soldiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?" There is a dead silence in the crowd. "Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to kick the Nazis in the face!" The crowd is still silent.
Piro's date bursts into laughter. Piro just kind of nods dumbly--the joke is true, but sadly, being true doesn't always make it funny. She excuses herself for a moment to hit the bar. Quietly, she says to the bartender, "Hit me with something hard, please." And the bartender says to her, "You just told me a moment ago you don't drink." And Piro says, "I've changed my mind; just make the pain stop." Quietly, of course; Lunatic Larry is probably suffering enough.
Botilda cringes a little at the joke, glancing towards the stage on her way to the bar. Once there, she notices someone familiar -- and moves over to offer greetings. "Hello, Piro", she says.
Zack chuckles a little at the joke, for his part, then furrows his brow. "Pffft. That joke doesn't even make any sense. I mean, American Man could kick Nazis and screw in a lightbulb at the same time." Yeah, when even the comic book nerd pans you on a joke about his favourite subject matter, you know that you should be looking for a new career.
A shepherd's pole comes from the behind the curtain, dragging Larry back behind it. Emerging from stage left is a much more lively fellow. "Hey folks, I'm Crraaaaazy Conwayyyy!" the comedian on the stage yells as he walks on, dressed in a neon blue and horrifically tacky tuxedo, his voice nasal and high pitched. "This audience is great, it's just great. You know, I love the world after the comet you know? It's crazy. I got a power. Yeah, yeah, I got one. See, I'm SUPAH FUNNY! Hey hey yeah, oh this crowd is sensational I love you people. If you looked half as good as you smelt I'd like you more than half of you deserve, I tell you!" Unfortunately, the crowd doesn't find him too funny and only a few laughs come up to the stage.
And now Piro finds herself chuckling in spite of herself. Maybe she just likes confrontational humour. "Evenin', Botilda," she says to the one so named, pantomiming the brief tip of a hat. And to the bartender, "On second thought, just gimme another Dew." To Botilda again, "I'm here on a date, so I should prob'ly get back to that, but we can always catch up on business later."
Botilda nods. "I'm sorry", she says. "I did not mean to interrupt." Wandering a few steps away, she seems to decide that this place just /isn't/ for her... and turns to head for the door instead of putting up with it any longer than is necessary.
"Man, comedians these days have no sense of intellectual humour," Zack chides quietly as he continues to film. "I miss the good stuff, like Trogdor and Fighter from 8 Bit Theater. Burninating the countryside, burninating the peasants..." he starts to sing to himself as he leans back and stretches, watching through the camera's viewscreen.
From the back of the stage a shrill, high pitched laughter can be heard. "Oh you CRAZY kids!" a tall, thin man shouts, popping out from behind the curtains obviously dressed up in drag, carrying a cello case with him, "wait just a minute...this is NOT Miami!" He firmly slams the instrument case against the ground, shoves Crazy Conway off of the stage rudely and shouts, "WHAT AN AUUUUUDIENCE! I haven't seen people so excited over a show since..well since I don't know when!" One of the drunks in the front has had enough of the poor performers and yells, "oh shut down and sit up already!" The man with the microphone stops smiling for the first time since he got onto the stage.
"Well, bye Botilda," Piro calls with a wave. She's just about to head back to her table when this guy barges in on stage--and she pauses to say to the bartender, "This queen ain't part o' the act, is he. You want me to, uh, try an' calm'im down before somethin' goes sour?" Yeah, maybe someone better.
Botilda lifts a hand to wave back at Piro as she heads for the door. Almost there, she stops and looks back at the stage, tilting her head slightly to one side as she looks that way.
Zack arches an eyebrow as he watches through the screen, then straightens up to look at the guy on stage through his own two eyes. "Well, now, that's a throwback and a half. Where did they get this guy from?" He takes a sip from his drink, apparently oblivious to the fact that this isn't just part of the show.
The man on the stage whips the cello case onto his shoulder, flipping a panel down that causes a nozzle to reveal itself in the neck, pointing at the loud drunk. "Shut up already and have something to drink!" He cackles as he briefly takes aim.
"Everybody RUN!" Piro screams unhelpfully, running back into the seating area and shoving the offending audience member out of the way just in time to save him from...
Billie Wildyr pulls the trigger, causing a stream of hissing acid to erupt from the neck of the cello case and just barely miss the vagrant as Piro rushes and tackles him out of the way. The stream of acid looks as if it is about to strike a table, and then enters a spinning blue disc. Another spinning blue disk appears fifteen feet behind and above that one, and the acid stream propels itself out of there and directly onto the man holding the instrument case, destroying it instantly and most of his left shoulder. The bubbling and hissing liquid burns away pieces of his face as he falls to the ground in shock, his left arm now barely attached by sinew to his torso. He stops smiling as blood begins to pool from under him and he goes still.
Lifting her hand, as she creates the spinning blue portals, to try to protect people and send the bad-guy's attack back at him, Botilda's eyes widen when she sees him go down. Covering her mouth, she stands there for a bit, her face going pale... pulling her hands from her face, she looks at them -- and they're trembling. Looking back at the stage, she shakes her head a little... then just sinks into the floor and disappears from view...
"Holy Chuck Norris!" Zack yells at the top of his lungs as he swings around frantically to follow the rapid action with his camera. His eyes go wide behind the screen as it all seems to be over in a number of seconds. Then, looking over at where the would-be murderer is writhing on the ground, he hesitates for just a second, then runs over at top speed, sliding to a stop on his knees on the stage and slipping his camera into its hip-holster. Looking the guy over, he pulls off his shirt and starts doing his best to make a tourniquet. Through some combination of quick thinking, luck, and ingenuity, he manages to stave off the bleeding and stabilize the man. "Somebody call a doctor! ...A real one, that is!"
Piro stands up, helping the hobo she tackled to his feet, and dusts herself off. She pulls a cellphone from an inner pocket of her blazer, quickly dialing 911 and telling them where to go. "The Last Laugh. Some guy... he barged up on stage, whipped out this weird acid-shooting thing. Someone turned it back on'im, hell if I know how, melted'is gun, now he's in bad shape. Some guy's givin'im first aid."
The bums in the club freak out and bolt for the doors. The college guys at the bar just kind of watch in shock until one of them stand on the bar and yells, "THAT WAS AWWWWWESOME!"
Zack looks around frantically, searching through his pockets and coming up more-or-less empty handed. "Darnit... isn't there any kind of anaesthetic around here?" He looks down at the guy who's now wearing his Ryu t-shirt on his arm with a sigh. "You know, you kinda deserved that," he chides as he shakes his head slowly. "I'm telling you, you guys gotta start thinking up more clever stuff if you want people to laugh at you. Nobody likes a clown."
Sirens begin to wail in the background as ambulances and police make their way to The Last Laugh. The owner is screaming his head off, freaking out and throwing glasses all around the bar in between taking giant swigs of whatever bottle he's about to toss.
Piro decides perhaps this is a good moment to, well, not stay here anymore. She returns to her table and says to her date, "Maybe we better go." Date agrees. Piro and date exit stage right. Or well not really, they take the front door.
Zack, for his part, is sticking around to make sure the guy doesn't bleed to death, villain or not. "Yeah, uh, I'll just stay here..." Of course, that means ducking the occasional stray alcohol bottle, but that's no worse than most initations Zack has been to.
